The Habits of Resilient People: Six Practices for a Stronger Life

By Dieter Veldsman (Phd)

In today's fast-paced world, resilience is more important than ever. Resilient people possess certain habits that help them navigate life's challenges and emerge stronger. The good news is that these habits can be adopted by anyone, regardless of their circumstances. Here are six key habits that resilient people integrate into their daily lives.

The Power of Resilience

Resilience is a vital skill that offers numerous personal and professional benefits. At its core, resilience enables individuals to bounce back from setbacks, adapt to change, and keep moving forward despite difficulties. In a business context, this translates to employees who can handle pressure, manage stress effectively, and maintain productivity even in the face of challenges. Resilient individuals are less likely to experience burnout and more likely to exhibit sustained engagement and motivation. This not only enhances their own well-being but also contributes positively to the overall morale and performance of their teams.

Moreover, resilience fosters innovation and creativity. When employees are resilient, they are more willing to take risks and explore new ideas because they are not as deterred by the fear of failure. This willingness to experiment and learn from mistakes drives innovation, leading to improved problem-solving and developing new products or processes. Companies with resilient workforces are often more agile and better equipped to navigate market changes and disruptions. This adaptability is crucial in today's fast-paced business environment, where the ability to pivot quickly can be a significant competitive advantage.

The Myths about Resilience

Before diving into the habits that foster resilience, let's clear up some common misconceptions.

Myth 1: Resilience is Something you are Born with

Many believe that resilience is an innate trait that only a few possess. This couldn't be further from the truth. Resilience is not a rare gift; it's a skill that anyone can learn and practice. Regardless of your starting point, you can develop resilience through intentional effort and the adoption of specific habits.

Myth 2: There's a Silver Bullet for Resilience

Some people think there's a single, magical solution to becoming more resilient. In reality, resilience comes from a combination of practices and disciplines integrated into your daily life. Different strategies work for different people, and what might be effective for one person may not work for another. It's about having a toolkit of practices to draw upon as needed and finding what resonates with you.

Myth 3: Resilience is Universal Across All Situations

There's a misconception that if you're resilient, you'll handle every situation with ease. However, context and personal significance play crucial roles in how resilient you are in any given situation. Resilient people still face adversity, yet they are better equipped to deal with these situations.

Your ability to apply resilience techniques may vary depending on the circumstances and your values. The key is to adapt these practices across different scenarios to support and enable yourself consistently.

Myth 4: Resilience Comes Only with Age

While life experience can enhance resilience, it's not exclusive to older individuals. Younger people can be incredibly resilient, often more so than we realize. Resilience is about how you handle challenges, not just how many you've faced. It's a trait that can be developed at any age, through experience and practice.

Myth 5: Resilient People are always Strong

Some believe that resilient individuals are overly optimistic and out of touch with reality. In fact, resilient people are realistic about their challenges. They acknowledge difficulties but choose to focus on potential solutions and positive outcomes. Their optimism is grounded in reality, not wishful thinking.

Myth 6: Resilience Can Be Quantified

Resilience isn't a competition. It's not about comparing yourself to others or measuring who is more resilient. Everyone's journey is unique, and what matters is finding your own path to resilience within your specific context and situation. It's a personal growth process that varies from person to person.

By debunking these myths, we can better understand that resilience is accessible, practical, and individualized. It's a journey that anyone can embark on, equipped with the right knowledge and practices.

The Habits of Resilient People

• Self-awareness

Resilient individuals make time to understand themselves and reflect on their actions. In a world filled with constant noise from WhatsApp, MS Teams messages, and Netflix, they consciously choose to listen to their inner selves. They think through their experiences and understand their responses to the world. This self-awareness is the foundation of resilience, allowing them to navigate life's challenges with clarity and purpose.

• Purpose

Resilient people often ask themselves, "Why?" They seek positive meaning in events and understand that hardships are part of everyone's life story. Instead of seeing purpose as a distant, elusive concept, they find meaning in daily activities. They recognize the beauty in the moment and understand that every aspect of their lives has a purpose. This perspective helps them to stay motivated and focused, even in tough times.

They also accept that setbacks are a part of life, do not assign blame for what happens to them and rather focus on what they can change about the situation, as opposed to getting stuck in the moment.

• Mindfulness

Mindfulness is a key practice for resilient individuals. It involves living in the moment and objectively understanding their experiences. They "listen from empty," letting go of preconceived notions and judgments. Being present allows them to evaluate circumstances clearly, slow down, and become aware of their surroundings. This practice helps them to respond to situations with a calm and clear mind.

• Relationships

A strong support network is crucial for resilience. Resilient people build relationships that are supportive and positive. Whether it's friends, colleagues, or family, they create networks where they can give and receive support. These relationships help them navigate life's difficulties and provide a sense of community. They understand that being there for others is just as important as having others there for them.

• Self-care

Self-care is essential for resilience. Resilient people understand the importance of looking after themselves, even in cultures that might stigmatize this practice. They reflect on what brings them joy and energy, and they make time for rest. They know that they cannot be resilient if they are tired or worn down. By prioritizing self-care, they ensure that they have the strength to face life's challenges.

• Gratitude

Finally, resilient people actively practice gratitude. They continuously find things to be thankful for, regardless of their circumstances. Research shows that people who practice gratitude are more resilient and better equipped to handle challenging situations. By appreciating the small things in life, they cultivate a positive mindset that helps them to stay resilient.

So, how can resilience be built, and how can we adopt these six practices in our daily lives?

The 3 Rs of Resilience: Reflect, Reframe, Reset

To integrate resilience-building habits into your daily life, consider the 3 Rs: Reflect, Reframe, and Reset. These practices will help you cultivate the six essential habits of resilience we've previously discussed.

Reflect

The first R is to Reflect. Carve out time in your schedule for reflection. This isn't about critiquing your performance but understanding and making sense of your experiences. Ask yourself:

• What happened today or this week?
• What am I proud of today?
• What could I have approached differently?
• What did I learn?
• What am I thankful for today?

Reflection helps you see the bigger picture and acknowledge your progress and areas for improvement. It's important to be kind to yourself during this process. Make reflection a habit that fits your routine. For instance, you might prefer early morning quiet time before everyone wakes up, or perhaps a weekend nature walk suits you better. Journaling might help, or simply sitting in thought. The key is to find your rhythm and make it a regular, protected time. Remember, this is your time to focus on your thoughts, feelings, and truths. Embrace these moments, and don’t forget to laugh at yourself—finding humor in our mistakes is a powerful resilience tool.

Reframe

The second R is to Reframe. This means intentionally changing your perspective on a situation. For example, when faced with a challenge at work, instead of getting frustrated, ask yourself:

• "What if her behavior is not about me?"
• "What if her reactions stem from her own issues?"
• "What if I try to understand her perspective instead of proving I'm right?"

Reframing helps you see things from a different angle and find alternative solutions. It's about shifting from "Why is this happening to me?" to "How can I approach this differently?" Start small by identifying negative thoughts and deciding which are unhelpful. Look for new evidence that might change your perspective and confide in trusted relationships for support. In my experience, understanding that a colleague's negative behavior stemmed from personal struggles helped me approach the situation with empathy, leading to a more respectful interaction.

Reset

The third R is Reset. This involves changing negative thoughts into positive ones. Instead of focusing on what's wrong, focus on what you can control. Use positive language to shift your mindset from disappointment and anger to thankfulness and hope. Ask yourself how you can change the situation to achieve a better outcome. Sometimes, resetting means taking a break, disconnecting, and returning later with a fresh perspective. It might involve letting go, finding a new path, or practicing self-care. Reset your harmful thoughts into ones that inspire and help you move forward.

Reflect, Reframe, and Reset are simple yet powerful practices that enable you to build resilience. They help you become more self-aware, find purpose, connect with others, practice self-care, and live with gratitude. By incorporating these 3 Rs into your life, you can navigate challenges more effectively and develop the resilience needed to thrive in any situation.

Final Words

Resilient people embody a set of intentional practices that help them to navigate life's ups and downs. They are self-aware, seek purpose in daily life, live mindfully, build strong relationships, practice self-care, and cultivate gratitude. By incorporating these habits into your own life, you can build resilience and face challenges with strength and confidence.

Remember, resilience is not about avoiding difficulties but about developing the strength to overcome them. Start integrating these habits into your daily routine and see how they can transform your ability to cope with whatever life throws your way.